Why I Sent My Mum to a Nursing Home and the Roles of Family Care

Deciding to send a parent to a nursing home can be a difficult and emotional decision. I, for one, had to make this tough choice when my 93-year-old mother was diagnosed with dementia and became bedridden. With my age and health at 74, I could not manage the 24/7 care needed any longer. Therefore, I reluctantly made the decision to send my mother to a nursing home. Despite this, my mindset remains focused on the best care for my elders.

Why Not The Easiest, But the Best

I and my family have opted to care for our aging parents in a way that might not be the easiest but is certainly the best for our family’s elders. We built a house that accommodated the three generations we had at the time: my older daughter and her family one suite, my younger child lived in another, and my husband and I lived in the third suite. I retired early and took on the role of my mother’s caregiver after her husband had to change his job due to an hour-long commute, which made him miss his family.

The Hospital Transition and Beyond

Eventually, my mother had to be hospitalized for a period, but we were there for her every step of the way. After her treatment, I continued to provide home care for my mother and another family member until they passed away. I was fortunate enough to be medically retired and had the necessary training in nursing care, which enabled me to offer the best hands-on nursing care, according to the hospice that was involved in their care.

The Experience of Reuniting with a Lost Parent

Interestingly, I had a different experience with my mother when I was 16. At that age, I said goodbye to my mother for the last time, never to see her in person again. However, years later, I was able to make contact with her through long-distance calls using a phone number I found. My mother passed away at the age of 52 due to cancer, despite various struggles. This experience taught me the importance of family and the impact of a loving environment on health.

The Challenges of Nursing Homes and Assisted Living Facilities

Living in a nursing home or assisted living facility can be a complex and challenging experience. In my area, these facilities have a terrible reputation, often understaffed, leading to poor patient care. My husband and I recognized this situation and decided to take on the responsibility of providing care at home, offering better support and comfort to those we love.

The Role of Family and Government Support

While family-based care is important, the government and its policies also play a role. Generally, family members with children, as opposed to single individuals, are prioritized for government assistance. This reflects a traditional view where families, rather than individuals, are seen as the primary recipients of care and support. However, this can vary according to the political leanings of the government. Personally, I align myself with the middle ground, valuing both the support of the government and the role of family in caring for our elders.

The Importance of Business and Personal Life Balance

Although my role as a caregiver has affected my personal life, I believe that balancing business and personal life is crucial. I see the world through the eyes of a child and I often act with youthful energy and enthusiasm. I prioritize my business needs and ensure that it thrives, understanding that this is a primary way to support my family and make a positive impact.

Ultimately, while the challenges of caring for elderly parents can be significant, the love and support of family can make a tremendous difference. I believe in the power of family caregiving and the importance of providing the best possible care for our aging loved ones, even when it means making difficult decisions.

Keywords: nursing home, family caregiving, elder care